I woke up yesterday morning and decided, boldly and delusionally, that I was finally going to become That Girl.
You know the type. Sunrise yoga. Immaculate bun. Perfectly colour-coordinated activewear. A morning beverage that contains at least three ingredients I can't pronounce.
She is serene. She glows. She alphabetises her vitamins. She owns a matching Pyrex set.
Meanwhile, I am still trying to figure out where I left my left shoe. But I was committed. A new era. A reinvention. A full “clean girl aesthetic” reboot.
Spoiler: it did not go as planned.
6:02 AM - The Yoga Mat Betrayal
The first step in becoming That Girl is sunrise yoga. So I unrolled my yoga mat… and it curled right back up like a defensive hedgehog. I tried a graceful sun salutation. The mat tried violence. My wrist cracked like a haunted door hinge. A passing Hadeda judged me loudly.
After three minutes of pretending my shaking was “intentional trembling to release emotional tension,” I surrendered.
Time for a beverage upgrade.
6:14 AM - The Matcha Misunderstanding
That Girl makes matcha.
The Vergin version of me tried.
The whisk flew out of the bowl. A bright green splatter decorated my countertop like modern art I did not ask for. I stared at the mess, took a deep breath, and decided matcha is simply not aligned with my aura.
But a citrus-forward Vergin spritz? Now that felt spiritually correct. I poured some Vergin Limón botanical distillation over ice, topped it with sparkling water, added lemon slices cut with questionable confidence, and called it:
“Mindful hydration.”
(With antioxidants. Emotional ones.)
6:27 AM - The Aesthetic Attempt
Next step: the flawless routine shot.
That Girl posts a photo of her tidy workspace, fresh eucalyptus, soft morning light.
The Vergin version of me produced:
- A notebook with a coffee ring
- A pen that doesn’t click anymore
- A candle that burned out last winter
- A citrus spritz positioned very seriously in the frame
- A cat that refused to move
I snapped the photo anyway. “Chaos, but make it chic.”
It felt right.
6:53 AM - The Realisation
By this point, I had:
- Attempted yoga
- Fought matcha
- Successfully created a hydrating masterpiece in a fancy glass
- Posted a photo that screamed “aesthetic-adjacent”
And you know what?
I didn’t feel like That Girl at all.
I felt like… me.
Slightly chaotic, easily distracted, deeply hydrated, and enjoying a drink that looked glamorous enough to be suspicious at 7 AM while carrying absolutely zero consequences.
A “Vergin Girl,” if you will.
Someone who chooses joy without needing perfection.
Someone who upgrades the morning with botanicals instead of pressure.
Someone who knows that matching glassware is optional, but flavour is essential.
7:04 AM - The Conclusion No One Asked For
I didn’t become That Girl.
Honestly, she can keep her perfectly stirred matcha and her non-curly yoga mat.
But I did become the Vergin version. A little messy, a little dramatic, a lot hydrated, and sipping something bright and botanical before 8 AM without a trace of guilt.
And frankly? That feels far more sustainable.
So here’s to the beverage routine you can actually stick to. Here’s to embracing your own version of “wellness.” Here’s to mornings that sparkle, even if you don’t.
It’s Vergin.